Woundless Bleeding
by DontHateMeCuzImBeautiful
Summary: Bella's life is finally coming together; the aching wound that Edward left is slowly healing, Jacob and the pack are slowly becoming like family and no one is pressuring her anymore to get well. However, all good things come to an end. Gift!fic for Katie!
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I'm pretty sure if I owned Twilight I wouldn't have to write fanfictions…**

_**A/N:**_ Hey all! This is DontHatemeCuzImBeautiful here with another fic! WOOH! However, this is a very special fic for one of my new friends, and awesome reviewers, Katie! This is all her fic; the plot, the relationship, putting up with my constant questions, all her. I'm just the machine that's putting it all together and I am totally PUMPED!

_**Katie:**_ I'm thrilled to be working with such a talented author, and am lucky that I was given an opportunity to share my ideas.

_**Me (Blushes):**_ Oh Katie, you are just 2 sweet ^-^! Anyway, this is a really long A/N for a story so I'll shut up and everyone can get reading. Read and review please! For my sake and my new friend's!

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_**Prologue**_

_"Someone should sue Disney for planting the ideas in little kids heads that every girl has a prince and everything ends up happily ever after." -Anonymous_

* * *

_I wonder if it could rain hard enough for me to drown…_

The thought keeps rolling around in my mind like a haunted broken record, determined to drive me further into my self-induced insanity.

…_Broken…_

I wince at the word considering that's exactly what I am: broken. Though 'broken' would imply that I could actually be fixed in some way, repaired so that I'm good as new. No, 'torn' is what I really am. 'Ripped' is just as good. Both of these words bring to mind something that can't be easily fixed with tools, disgustingly severed in a way that no one will have any use for it ever again…

A crack of thunder sounds above me, though I hardly even recognize the sound over the pounding of the rain. As water pours from the sky and proceeds to drench me I vaguely realize that I'm still walking, though _how_ I have no idea. Usually when someone's heart stops they're supposed to be dead. So how is it that, even with my ragged and bloody chest, even with the pain that is nearly crippling, I can still move? If it weren't for the pain I would say that I _am_ dead. But no; my body is still intact, though it feels like I've been completely pumped with morphine. Everything is hazy, a blessed cloud over every one of my senses. Just to make sure I'm physically okay I raise a drugged hand up to my chest, completely startled when there's no gaping hole, not even a bump to show the showdown going on in my heart.

_I wish Ja-_

"NO!" I scream hoarsely at the thought that unexpectedly begins to form in my mind. I stop in my tracks on the side of the road, look around frantically so see where exactly that voice began. Letting the rain pour down on me I look up at the ink black sky, suddenly furious that this is happening. How dare Fate play with my life like this? My heart, my emotions?

"_**WHY!?**_" I scream into the night. "What else do you want from me? What else could you _possibly_ want? _**I HAVE NOTHING LEFT!**_"

I almost don't recognize the salty taste of my tears mingled with the natural taste of the water from the sky. It's now that I realize I can't take another step; not if I don't want my chest to burst. Staring into a puddle below me the girl in the water's reflection looks as though she's insane. Rain darkened hair hangs in strings around her face, clinging to her forehead and neck as though for safety. Her eyes match the color of her hair, but they're wild, frantic, open, and staring at absolutely nothing to see. They're so cold and lifeless I want to comfort her; no one should have to feel the pain I'm going through. I reach out to touch her…and recoil. The girl moved with me; it's _me_ in the puddle.

The revelation has me suddenly laughing hysterically. What the hell was I thinking? That someone else would somehow understand what I was going through? The laughing stops abruptly at that thought. No one will ever understand. I sigh and realize that I really am dead; dead on the inside. I can't live like this anymore…

_I'd rather _be_ dead…_

Bright lights behind me slowly capture my attention and even in my tragedy induced fog I still recognize it as a vehicle, coming up fast on my position. I immediately think of being out here, alone, a female, on the side of the road with no protection. The car slows down a few feet from me and a dark figure steps out, not moving as it simply stares at me.

_It's a murderer…_

I smirk as whoever it is makes their way closer to me and whisper, "Be careful what you wish for…"

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**A/N: Alright people, you know what to do. The more you review, the faster the story comes to you! Till next time!**


	2. Chapter 1: You and Me

**Disclaimer: Still don't own Twilight...**

**A/N: Alright peoples here's the first chapter of Woundless Bleeding! Woo-hoo! Anyway, I hope that you like it as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

**I'm sure if Katie were here she'd say something along the lines of, "Review please!" So, I'll just go ahead and say it for her ^-^**

_Italics _: flashback

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**Chapter 1: You and Me**

_**"**Sometimes the person you really need is the one you didn't think you wanted.**"**_

* * *

I absolutely refused to open my eyes.

Even though I became more aware that I was awake the longer that I lay there I absolutely, positively refused to leave the warm sanctity of my bed. I couldn't really say why I wanted to stay still so badly, why I so desperately needed to lock this moment in time. Somehow I knew that when I came to bed again at the end of the day things would be completely different, and I was entirely too content with things at the moment to immerse myself in sadness; again.

I rolled over and buried my face further beneath the delicious comfort of the blankets with the intention of going right back to sleep when I vaguely noted a knock on the front door. Trusting in Charlie to get it I only half-listened, my mind already blanking itself to prepare for another hour or so of restful hibernation.

"Alright I'm coming, I'm coming!" Charlie's slightly irritated voice made me smile. He absolutely hated being rushed anywhere so whoever was on the other side of the door was in for a surprise. "Hold your horses…"

One eye cracked reluctantly open to glance at the bright red numbers on my clock. Renee had sent it to me after I'd complained to her over the phone that I was starting to sleep through my old one. Whether I'd just gotten used to the noise or it had gotten old enough that the sound was too low, the new one fulfilled all of my previous wants in a waking noise. Complete with a blaring horn and a 'Snooze' button that allowed only two minutes of extra sleepy-headedness, I had deemed it a type of Chinese water torture the first time it went off and made me jump so high off the bed I landed on the floor when I came back down. After I'd calmed myself enough that my shaking hands had subsided I'd set the clock on the lowest setting and taped over the speakers to eliminate another early morning terror.

'**9:34'** blared at me before I quickly shut my eye again and buried it back in my pillow. It was a little early, even for Forks, for social calls. I frowned slightly, my sleep momentarily put off as I wondered who on Earth it was. I waited for my question to be answered as I heard the familiar creak of the front door open.

Unfortunately, I only caught a few words of Charlie's opening greeting to whoever was at the door, words that could have meant anyone. "You…what are you doing here?…early…wasn't expecting you…" It certainly wasn't much to go off of.

I strained my ears until I heard the sound I was looking for. A low and husky laugh, followed by, "Aw, come one Charlie you know you're as happy as anyone to see me…"

My eyes flew open and I sat up faster than I could have deemed imaginable, holding my forehead in my hands as the room spun. Still, I threw back the covers at the sound of my best friend telling Charlie exactly why he was here so early in the morning. I tore around my room, trying to find something to wear as I listened with sharpened ears below.

"…came to invite Bella out for the day. There's a bonfire tonight and I wanted to invite her down in person."

Charlie chuckled and replied, "You could have just called her. Any other reason you wanted to come and see Bella…?"

I rolled my eyes and tried my best to tamp down the blush that no one but me could see. Lately it seemed that the more time I spent in La Push the more determined Charlie was that I remain tied to them. Permanently. According to him the sooner I gave up and got married to one of the only boys I could tolerate the happier everyone would be. He'd spent about 90% of the time me and the pack were around dropping massive hints: That I was totally available, that maybe I should stay here for college for a certain someone, that maybe there was someone right under my nose and I just couldn't see it…

Every hint, every suggestion that my best friend and I were perfect together was like a painful stab through the heart. It didn't help that Jacob wanted it even more than Charlie. I felt it in every single smile he sent me, the way that he talked to me, the perfect way we seemed to fit with each other as we hung out. But I couldn't, I wouldn't, allow myself to feel the things that welled up in me. I continuously tamped down the emotions associated with being with Jacob and being away from him, the same way I tried desperately to escape my feelings for Edw-

I gasped and physically choked on my own thoughts. Even thinking his name was too much, the love I once had throbbing in me as steady as the pulse of my own heart…

"Bella!"

I snapped out of my new mood as quickly as it had come on and yelled back down the stairs, "Coming!"

There was a moment's shuffling as I continued shuffling through my drawers and laundry strewn across the floor to find something suitable to wear. I finally settled on a pair of jeans that were strewn across my desk chair and the Harley-Davidson™ Motorcycle shirt Jake had gotten me just because he could. I smiled as I remembered the lame excuse he had given me as to why he'd just given me a shirt he had paid for with his own money.

* * *

_We were sitting in his garage, I reading a book while he worked on the Rabbit and he'd said, "Hey I almost forgot! I got you something while I was out in Hoquiam last weekend."_

_I had looked up at him in surprise and told him, "Oh Jake you shouldn't have. I hope it's not another motorcycle…"_

_He'd laughed his warm laugh, dusted off his pants and headed to a shelf on the far side of the room. "Please, like you need another way to beak yourself in half. Naw, this is a lot smaller, and less dangerous, even for you."_

_I'd stuck my tongue out at him and he'd laughed again as he turned back to throw the piece of cloth at me. I'd stared at it in confusion, not really sure why exactly he'd given me fabric until he'd rolled his eyes and commented, "Uh, Bells? You're going to have to unfold it."_

_Without remarking that I wasn't completely stupid and I would have figured it out on my own eventually, I did as was told and unwrapped it. The sight of the typical Harley-Davidson trademark sign and sleek red motorcycle on the front of it caught me off guard for a moment until I realized the significance of what he'd given me. I slowly brushed a cautious finger across the picture and didn't speak for a few moments._

"_It was just, you know, something I thought you'd like. I was guessing at your size so it may not fit right but I…I thought you'd…you don't have to take it if you want to…"_

_When I'd looked up Jacob's face was sporting a nice blush and he fidgeted and looked down at my hands. I grinned and leaned over so that I could touch his hand. When he'd looked up at me his smile was tremulous but as bright as always, and I couldn't help smiling back happily at him._

"_I love it."_

* * *

I smiled and threw the shirt over my head, racing into the bathroom to fix myself into something more than what I was. As I stared into the mirror at my still sleepy looking reflection I couldn't help but grimace and groan. My hair was everywhere and I quietly reconciled with myself that there was nothing I'd be able to do with the dark circles under my eyes. So I sighed and impatiently threw my brush through my hair, brushed my teeth and splashed my face with water. When I was finished I had to admit that I looked at least half-way decent; at least better than I had 10 minutes before.

As I started my way down the stairs I could hear Jacob and Charlie arguing over the last game that was on TV. Sitting in the living room and staring at the TV, I understood absolutely nothing that they were saying, but I didn't have to stand waiting to be acknowledged for very long. Whether because of his sense of smell or he just heard me come down Jacob turned at the sound of my approach and I was instantly floored at his appearance.

His dark shaggy hair hung unrestrained from its usual ponytail, framing his already smiling face in a way that gave me chills. As he stood I noticed that he was wearing the matching Harley-Davidson shirt that he'd gotten at the same time he'd gotten mine, with my favorite pair of torn up blue jeans.

"Are you going to stand there checking me out all day or are you actually gonna say hi?" He teased playfully and I laughed before launching myself at him from across the room.

I vaguely heard Charlie in the background as he warned me to be careful not to "hurt the poor boy!", but I hardly noticed. Instead, I waited until I was about 5 feet away from my werewolf best friend and leaped, not an understatement at all, into his awaiting arms as though we'd practiced the move a hundred times. Any other boy would have been knocked off of his feet with the force of my body slamming into theirs, but not Jacob. His werewolf toughened body felt like warm steel as I smacked into his rather chiseled chest.

"Jake! I'm so glad to see you!" I was shocked to hear the sheer pleasure in my voice, the way I seemed to completely melt in his arms. "How's this for a hello?"

Jacob chuckled and held me a little tighter before releasing me and mock groaning, "I don't know Bells, I think you might have broken something…"

I smacked his arm playfully and tried my best to ignore my stinging hand as Jake laughed. Though I tried my best I couldn't stop my own laugh from bubbling over. Finally I headed into the kitchen to fix some cereal and Jake followed me, sitting at the table in his normal seat. "So what are you doing out and about so early? I thought for sure you'd be sleeping in today after a weekend of patrols," I lowered my voice on the last part. Charlie had no idea about Jacob being a werewolf and I planned to keep it that way.

Jake shrugged and, I was surprised to see, blushed a little at my question. "Can't a guy just come out to visit his best friend once in a while without the 3rd degree?" He complained. When I raised an eyebrow at him he laughed and shrugged, "I just wanted to hang out with you today. I mean, it feels like we haven't gotten to just be by ourselves in a while, what with you working and all. Besides, there's a bonfire tonight…"

He trailed off expectantly, wagging his eyebrows at me like some kind of weird, wanna-be Fabio. I laughed and told him, "I guess I could clear out my busy schedule for a day or so…let me just talk to my people and we can get going…"

I leaned around the corner of the kitchen and called into the living room, "Hey Charlie?"

"Just don't be home too late sweetie…"

I was completely taken aback by the ease at which Charlie allowed me to have an outing with Jacob but shrugged it off at the sight of Jake holding in his laughter. I ignored him and asked, "So, what did you have in mind for today?"

He stood and grasped my hand in his, pulling me impatiently towards the front door. "Just wait Bella, you're going to love this-"

I trailed along after him but murmured, "Uh…Jake?"

"...I just hope you don't freak out like Claire did. Quil wouldn't let her see him in his wolf form for a week…"

"Jake…?"

"…I think you'll like it though. I mean, it's not everyday you get to-!"

"Jacob!"

As I finally got through to him he turned and stared at me from our position at the back door. "What is it Bells?" He asked expectantly, practically jumping out of his skin in anticipation. I hated to keep him waiting, but there was nothing more important than my morning meal.

"Could you give me a minute to eat before you go whisking me off to places unknown?" I asked with a slight pout. I really didn't want to be running around all morning on an empty stomach.

He smiled down at me, brushed a piece of hair out of my eyes. "Sure, sure."

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**A/N: Okay, I'm going to try and get a chapter out a week. So that means that you should expect a chappie NEXT Friday as well as today. I'll try to stick to the new schedule as close as possible, but with life you never know. Reviews make me happy!**


	3. Chapter 2: The Road Less Traveled

**Disclaimer: …**

**A/N:** Oh snap, it's finally here! Okay, so I know that I promised this on Friday and everything, but remember when I mentioned 'real life'? Yeah, it hit me really hard this week. I was grounded for the weekend (along with some other awful events that had me in a 'writing funk', if you will) and was then unable to write anything. But I'm back and I am updating now with an extra long chapter to help. Hope you all enjoy!

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**Chapter 2: The Road less Traveled**

**_A good traveler has no fixed plans, and is not intent on arriving. ~Lao Tzu_**

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As soon as I spooned the last bit of Frosted Flakes into my mouth Jacob hauled me out of my chair and headed for the door at break neck speed. I barely had time to call out a very hurried, "Bye Dad!" before I was whisked outside and onto my front porch.

I didn't question anything, even when I was shoved into the Rabbit (Jacob's most prized possession) and we were barreling as fast as the old car could go down the road that led to La Push. Allowing him his excited anticipation I stayed silent, letting Jake's good mood permeate my own. It wasn't until we were within the reservation's limits that I turned in the passenger seat and exclaimed, "Alright, spill."

Jake never took his eyes from the road but flashed me one of the wickedest grins I'd ever seen. The sight of it was like a dousing of cold water sending an icy shiver down my spine. Jacob caught my grimace of pure un-anticipation and laughed out loud. The icy shiver melted away at the sound of his laughter; my whole body seemed to relax and I couldn't help but smile through my sudden frown.

"Geez Bella, anybody ever tell you you're completely impatient?" He mock reprimanded me, waggling his finger like I was a naughty five year old. I pouted and crossed my arms, hoping I looked just like the child he was portraying me as. When he glanced over to look at me his expression was a mix of incredulity and vast amusement. "You pull that look off a little too well Bells."

I stuck my tongue out at him and murmured sulkily, "Are we there yet?"

Jake just chuckled and patted my knee comfortingly with one hand. "Almost sweetie."

I laughed and glanced down at the hand on my knee, only vaguely noting that Jacob hadn't removed it because it was actually a pleasant feeling. With just a simple touch I was calmed and, silly as it may sound, I felt completely enveloped in a sensation of protection. Looking up at Jacob's face I tried to place the weird feeling that was welling up inside me. It was warm and completely foreign, even after months of being around him; something that was completely scary, but wholly invigorating at the same time…

…_just like with Ed-_

And without warning, it slammed into me. I sucked in a sharp breath and clutched at my stomach with both arms hugging my middle. I could feel my blood run cold in my veins, my heart hammering in my chest and sweat pouring from my forehead as I realized that I was having another 'attack'. Jacob, instantly recognizing the symptoms for what they were, turned alarmed eyes on me and exclaimed, "Relax, Bella you're okay!"

But I could hardly hear him. Echoes from the past rebounded in the walls of my brain, driving me crazy, relentless in their treatment of my mind.

"_Bella, I don't want you to come with me."_

"_Because I'm… __tired__ of pretending to be something I'm not, Bella. I am not human…"_

"_You're not good for me, Bella…"_

"No…stop it, please…"

I only vaguely listened as, with a hissed cursed at whoever was listening, Jacob pulled over on the side of the road and rapidly undid my seatbelt, pulling me into his lap to soothe me.

"_I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me…." _

Though I was still breathing at an obscenely high tempo my heart rate gradually began to slow as Jacob pulled his fingers through my hair and whispered, "Shh…It's okay Bells….it's going to be alright, nothing's going to hurt you now…I'm here…"

"…_It will be as if I'd never existed."_

His words began to do the trick, the evil words in my mind turned into whispers until they disappeared completely. I felt my blood go warm again, my breathing rate slowing back down to something resembling normal as my body slowly relaxed. As soon as he felt the tension leave my body Jacob looked down at me and whispered, "You okay?"

I exhaled a soft sigh and shook my head. How to answer that question when I was very obviously not okay in so many different ways? How long was I going to have to endure the living nightmare that had become my life?

When I closed my eyes Jacob whispered, "It won't be like this forever Bella…"

I nearly laughed. He always knew exactly what it was that worried me, as though he could really read my mind…I stopped that train of thought before I had yet another bout of what Charlie called my 'attacks'.

They had started shortly after…_he_…left, and then got progressively worse as time went on. I couldn't think of anything at all that linked him back to me without suffering the consequences. They had occurred at random points of the day for months; one minute I was fine, and the next, I was hyperventilating and clutching at myself like I needed to breathe, moaning and groaning at invisible people not to go, not to leave me...

The first few times they happened, everyone was terrified. Doctors from Forks and Port Angeles ran tests to see whether I was having seizures, whether I was dehydrated, or just mentally unstable. Of course they couldn't find anything that had to do with a broken heart, and there was no medication to just make it all better. So they just let it be, Charlie keeping sharp objects away from me whenever he suspected I was going to go on a rampage, and everyone else just learning to wait it out like a wave.

It wasn't until I started hanging out with Jacob that things got even a little better. He helped to keep my mind off of them, the family that had completely deserted me for my own 'well-being'. I rarely ever had time to think about anything negative when I was around Jake, and his happy, carefree spirit helped to keep my own wicked thoughts at bay. Though I still had them, my attacks began to come fewer and farther in number until they rarely occurred at all. Even when I did have them they were much less intense than in the beginning, and only a few minutes long if Jacob and I were actually together.

Jacob was absolutely horrified the first time it happened; but he handled it as though I were a child in a tantrum, soothing me with his mere presence and voice. Gradually, I was able to think the name _Cullen_ again without having a mental breakdown, and then all of their names shortly after that. But there's one name that I can't even begin to think of, not yet…

I opened my eyes to stare into Jacob's concerned darkened browns and blushed. "I'm really sorry Jake."

And I was. I knew it didn't just pain me when I went into one of my teenage vampire induced tantrums, but I wasn't about to place all of the blame on myself either. I couldn't help my feelings anymore than I could make Jacob get over me, so what was the point of even trying? He looked back down at me and unleashed my favorite grin, to which I had no immediate response. I was still slightly numb from my previous over exertions, so I couldn't really summon up a smile of my own.

He noticed and asked quietly, "You wanna go home? We can do this another day if you want…"

Even though he was completely sincere in his proposal I still couldn't help but wince at the disappointment lying just beneath the surface. If I left now because of the fact that I was emotionally incapable of letting my past feelings go it would absolutely kill him, a fact that anyone who knew him could see. It was this alone that made me shake my head and bestow a tremulous smile on my best friend, though the action caused me physical pain.

"Go home? To what? So Charlie can watch over me like I'm a time bomb? Oh no you don't Jacob Black, you're not getting out of our date that easily," I insisted, sitting up in his arms and staring him full in the face.

I watched his expression go from one of incredulity, to amusement, to pure joy. There it was, the reason I never gave up whenever I was around him. There was just no way that I could drag Jacob into my pit of unhappiness.

He gently hooked both hands under my thighs and placed me back in the passenger seat as he chuckled, "Sure, sure Bells, whatever you want."

I carefully snicked the seatbelt back into place and laid my head back against the seat as Jacob pulled away from the shoulder of the road and took off back down the road. We were quiet for a while before he laughed out loud and exclaimed, "One of these days I'm gonna stop letting you have your way, then where will you be?"

I frowned a little at the question, but then grinned confidently. He noticed my look of triumph and asked, "What?"

The little giggle I'd been trying to keep in place slipped through the hand on my mouth as I told him, "You're never going to stop letting me get my way Jake. You love me too much."

Though I meant for it to be a joke I instantly recognized what I'd said and unintentionally tensed for his response. If he joked back I'd know that he was willing to let what I said go, pretend that he didn't hear the implications I'd unwittingly let go into my statement. If he gave me a serious response it would make me sincerely uncomfortable for a while, thus risking bringing on another of my attacks, but reassuring me in a crazy way that he was still mine.

He smiled, but otherwise stayed silent.

* * *

"Alright Bella, here we are."

I stared around at the expanse of trees around me and made sure I had the proper amount of confusion on my face before turning back to Jacob. "Here we are…where? This is _your_ land. It isn't exactly an exotic tourist attraction…" I replied, but Jake only smiled. He'd been doing that a lot lately…

"Trust me, tourists all over the world would just love to be doing what you're about to be doing," I turned and looked at him quizzically, but he turned away from me and started toward a thicker grouping of trees.

"Where are you going?" I very nearly panicked for the second time in a day. This was far too close to what had happened all those months ago. A forest, the questions, someone I deeply cared for walking away from me…

Jacob looked over his shoulder and winked and my fears instantly melted. I nearly forgot; Jake promised that he would never leave me. "You'll see," he said before disappearing into the darkness of the forestry.

I shrugged and stared around me at the forest, silently admiring the quiet voice of nature that surrounded me. In a way this was the perfect place for Jacob and I to just relax and be together. It was a place shrouded in mystery, perfectly preserved nature away from humanity's indecent touch. I stared up at the canopy of trees and, so immersed in the scenery was I, that I completely missed it when Jacob came bounding through the line of trees.

As a wolf.

The giant, russet colored beast stopped about 10 feet away, very obviously grinning with his animal face, dark eyes sparkling with anticipation and excitement. I stared at the new Jacob for only a moment before I snorted and exclaimed playfully, "So, what, we're going to play 'Puppy Pretend' for the rest of the day?"

Jacob rolled his over large eyes and let out a snort of his own. He meandered over to where I was sitting in about a stride and a half before he lifted a gigantic paw and swatted me on the butt.

"Hey! What the hell was that for?" I exclaimed in surprise and downright irritation. I could feel my face glowing a beet red as I stared angrily at Jacob. Just what did he think he was doing anyway?

He growled low in his throat, not a menacing sound, but one that said he was getting impatient. This was followed in quick order by a whine and another swat on the butt, only this time I didn't take as much offense to it as I discovered what he was trying to do. I moved in the direction of his swat which turned out to be just at his back, and watched as he crouched down on all fours, tail wagging like a huge Great Dane. I stared from where he had pushed me, to his eager face, and back again until I gained my voice.

"You…you want me to…_ride_ you?"

I could hardly get the words out of my mouth without stuttering, and I was quite proud of how steady my voice sounded despite my inner warning screeching at me. Jacob of course, with his supersonic hearing, heard the mild quavering in my voice. With a rough bark that could not have been mistaken for anything other than a laugh, he then proceeded to nuzzle my arm with his nose, silently entreating me to just trust him.

Just as I was on the brink of saying 'no', his eyes caught and held me. Yet another reason that I liked Jacob so much was because of his absolute inability to hide his emotions from me. Everything was always on his face, contained in the gigantic brown eyes that I couldn't resist. Every emotion that I feared lay underneath the surface: anxious, trusting, wanting, needing…

With an exaggerated sigh I smiled and exclaimed, "You wouldn't happen to have a ladder tucked under all that fur would you? It's going to take some skill getting up there…"

I glanced meaningfully from his face to his back again. He rolled his eyes and lay fully on his stomach on the ground, leaning slightly towards me on his right side. I looked at him unsteadily for a second before I awkwardly threw one leg over his body. I stood there uneasily for a few seconds more, unable to move enough to get my other leg over before Jacob took pity on me and shifted his weight over onto his other side, taking me with him. With a muffled yelp I gripped his fur tightly, grasping his back so firmly it was a wonder he didn't complain.

Jacob waited until he heard my breathing slow before deciding to make any kind of move, for which I was entirely grateful. I had always known that Jacob was a huge wolf, but I had never taken into consideration the fact that he really _was_ incredibly large, top to bottom. Though he hadn't stood up yet I was still a good 5 or 6 feet off the ground, and wasn't looking forward to going upwards in any way. After a few minutes Jacob gave a low whine, quietly asking for my permission to move.

I pat his fur comfortingly and murmured, "I'm fine Jake. You can stand up now if you want."

He waited another minute before raising himself up as slowly as possible, and waited while I got used to the new height. Though I told myself not to look down I glanced at the 10 foot distance to the ground.

"Oh God…" I groaned and Jacob gave one of his barking laughs before dipping his head to shift me forward so that I was gripping his neck.

My arms didn't even encircle half of his bulky throat and he chuckled as I struggled trying. I playfully slapped him on his head and growled, "Oh be quiet. I'm still getting used to this."

He laughed again and gave a low bark that I took to interpret as, "Ready?"

I took a deep breath and nodded, my face pressed against his coat like a life preserver. "I guess so. Just-just go, you know,_ slow_, for a while…"

He nodded once and began to move.

It was like something out of a freaky Twilight Zone episode. Though to him it was moving slow, it felt as though we could easily outrun my truck at a good 60 miles an hour. At first I kept my face firmly secured in the crook between his neck and his shoulder, intent on keeping my face hidden so I couldn't see anything. Jacob let it go for a few minutes before he began bucking his head up, insisting without words that I look around and find everything as wonderful as he did.

I refused for a while until he stopped all together and outright howled. I didn't really know what to say to that at all, so I complied with a grumbled, "Alright, alright you win."

When he was certain that I would stay upright he let out another howl, this one much different sounding, happy, as he took off again. I noted that he certainly wasn't trying to go slow at all now that I was looking up, but I had to admit that it was much more pleasant than I had expected. Though Jacob was moving much faster than a normal animal, the world wasn't a complete blur around me, and I could actually appreciate what was going on around me. It was like taking a plunge through a nature walk; the wind at my face was invigorating, the coolness contrasting with the heat of Jacob amazingly well.

It wasn't until my cheeks started hurting that I realized I was smiling. In fact, being out in the open like this, riding on the back of a werewolf, was one of the funnest things I had done in a while. "Faster Jacob!" I called out, laughing as he barked back happily and complied with my wishes.

Swishing through the forest I'd never felt so alive. All of my cares floated out behind me as Jacob and I shared an experience that was too amazing to believe was real. I threw my arms out on either side of me, imagining for a moment that I was flying through the sky. Letting loose a 'Whoop!' of happiness that rang through the trees, Jacob joined with his own howl, and we had great fun trying to match each other's voices.

All too soon Jake began slowing down, physically slowing to what amounted (for him) to a crawl. I groaned out loud and begged him to keep going, but he merely chuckled and finally stopped in a great expanse of open forest. I slid from his back much more easily than I had climbed up, and he caught me in one of his great paws to steady me just before I hit the ground.

"That…was…_amazing_!" I shouted breathlessly, pushing my hair back from my forehead with an impatient flourish. My legs felt like absolute jelly and I sank down on the ground without another word, suddenly completely interested in the scenery around me.

Jacob had taken us to a glade, one of the most beautiful places I had ever seen in my life. Sun streaming through the canopy of trees above, the sunlight reflected off of a small pond several feet away. A miniature waterfall about 5 feet tall sprayed down a set of step-stone rocks on the far side of the pond, the sound of it like a balm on my soul.

"It's beautiful isn't it?"

Jacob's voice from behind me came as a slight shock, but I whispered, "Where are we?"

He chuckled and sat down next to me so that when I glanced over at him I noticed that he was shirtless. "Uh, somewhere outside of Olympia I think. I found this place by accident the other day and I've wanted to bring you out here," he explained, but I struggled to listen to him.

Somehow the sight of Jacob Black with nothing covering his torso was even more invigorating than running through the forest. I'd always known that being a werewolf had toned him into something of a super being, but it's different when you picture a six-pack and then see your picture on some kind of steroid.

"It's really…nice, Jake," I managed to choke out, blushing a bright red as I stared away over the pond.

Though he didn't comment the wide smile on Jake's face was enough to make me groan, and I resisted doing so with extreme difficulty. We sat in silence for a long moment, just appreciating the beauty of nature around us when he exclaimed, "So, it sounded like you had fun today."

I grinned and told him, "It was amazing Jake. I can see why you love running so much."

His smile was my instantaneous reward and I silently praised myself for answering correctly. "Yeah? You really liked it?" He pressed and I nodded happily.

"Of course! I've never been going so fast in my life. Even my truck wouldn't be able to keep up with us."

Jacob snorted. "That's not really saying much Bells. I mean, hell, I could spit faster than your truck goes."

I gaped at him in mock disbelief and shrieked, "Jake! I'll have you know that I taught Jacob Jr. how to go 65 miles an hour the other day."

He snorted again and burst out, "Jacob Jr.? Who the hell is that?"

My face contorted into a smile without my even realizing it as I told him, "Charlie said that I should name my truck so I did. I figured it was appropriate seeing as you seem to share such an ultimate liking for one another."

His eyes lit up in amusement and he exclaimed, "Alright that's fair. So I guess I should tell you about my new toy Baby Bella."

I squinted my eyes in confusion and couldn't help asking, "Baby Bella, huh? Let me guess, you finally named the Rabbit?"

Jacob shook his head and explained, "Oh no, I could never do that. Naw, Baby Bella is my new action figure." He turned to look me straight in the eye to make sure I was still paying attention. "See, she's got all these crazy powers."

I stared at him in astonishment and motioned for him to continue. "Powers? Like what?"

For a second Jacob sat back and looked thoughtful before he started again. "Well, she's got awesome bad luck skill, she's great with animals, and she can attract every mythical creature within a 100 mile radius of wherever she lives. Yup, best super hero I've ever known."

I laughed out loud and he quickly joined me, dodging out of the way when I attempted to push him over. We sat back all afternoon, talking and laughing about nothing in particular, just happy to be spending time with each other. It wasn't until the sun was high in the sky and both our stomachs were rumbling that we even thought about leaving our haven of happiness.

After Jake's stomach gave a particularly nasty groan and I laughed until my sides hurt did we start up leaving. "Come on Bells," he told me, helping me to my feet, "We can head back to my house for something to eat before it's time for the bonfire."

Just as I was climbing on his back I looked back at the glade-our glade-and was hit with a sense of foreboding that had me feeling faint for a long moment. I tried to place it, to make some sense of it. For some reason I was terrified of leaving, as though going back home would change everything. But when Jacob gave a small bark to hang on I tossed it in the back of my mind, concentrating on the ride home.

I wish now that we had never left.


	4. Chapter 3: You've Got a Friend in Me

**Disclaimer:...too tired for you to sue me...**

**A/N: It's 12:30 a.m here but I was determined to get this chapter out to everyone. So sorry that it took so long to get here but, well, I've had a weird week. Please review and I swear I'll try my best to update on time this week. Thanks guys!**

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Chapter 3: You've Got a Friend in Me

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

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**  
**

The ride back to the reservation was much shorter than the ride to the Glade, a detail I noted with extreme annoyance. Still, I couldn't really complain. I felt so much freer, more open, my heart practically bursting at the seams. It was like a dream as I threw my arms out and pretended to fly, calling out as Jacob took a much windier path home.

Trees and fallen logs blocked our way numerous times only to be jumped over and avoided, the ride like the most breathtaking rollercoaster ever invented. I tried to hide my dismay as Jacob's garage came into view much sooner than I was ready.

Still, even as I slid from my best friend's back I couldn't quite hide the grimace that rippled through me as reality slammed back into my subconscious. Everything was made frighteningly real again, problem after problem washing back through my temporarily subdued mind. Jacob gave me a long, searching look as he sashayed over to the nearest trees to change back, stopping to nudge me reassuringly with his large nose.

I wrapped my arms as far as they would go around his big burly neck, turning my face into his fur to hide my smiling face.

"I'm fine Jake," I tried to reassure him. He turned a dubious eye to mine, snorting his disbelief to let me know exactly what he thought of my bold lie. I playfully swatted him, pushing away as I admonished teasingly, "Jacob Black, are you calling me a liar?"

He rolled his eyes once more, bounding away behind the garage where the sounds of the surrounding foliage rustling the only sign that anything unusual is happening behind them. "Now Bella…" His voice sounded from somewhere just beyond my line of vision. "If you don't want to tell me, fine; I get it…"

He stepped out from behind a nearby tree, still shirtless, and I nearly fainted at the sight. The beaming sun from above filtered over his rippling muscles, accenting him in a light that made him look like he was glowing. The glower he sent my way did nothing to deter my ardent perusal of his body, but his next words were like a dousing of cold water on my senses.

"…but don't you dare lie to me."

I flinched back as though struck, biting my bottom lip with my teeth as is my habit when I get uncomfortable, and turned away from him towards the garage. "I'm not lying," I tried to tell him, though I sounded far from reassuring.

I felt his presence from right behind me before his warm arms circled me affectionately. Without even having to think about it I leaned back against him, content for the moment to have him hold me, banish all of my fears.

"What's wrong Bells? Tell me?" He pressed gently, nuzzling the side of my face with his own.

I sighed heavily. "I-I really don't know. It's just that…I want to forget, I really do. But I just…I can't…"

Breaking off with a hiccup that felt strangely like a sob, I hardly felt it as Jacob turned me in his arms to face him. Unable to meet his gaze I tried to stare at a spot just over his shoulder, ignoring his eyes trying to burn into mine.

"Bella, look at me."

I almost ignored his request and continued looking away. Unfortunately, Jacob wasn't having any of that. He gently grasped my chin in his too strong fingers and turned my face to look him straight in the eyes. His familiar dark orbs captured mine with intensity too brilliant to ignore so that for just a moment I felt my soul completely bared before him.

"No one asked you to forget, Bella," he explained quietly. "You don't have to forget anything. He…he was a part of who you are. It's okay to want to hang on for a little longer. Besides…"

He broke into a radiant smile that made me want to smile as well. "You wouldn't be the dysfunctional best friend I love if you just let things go."

I did manage to crack a grin at that, lightly punching him in the arm as soon as he released me. I opened my mouth to grumble at him when my stomach gave a particularly loud growl so that instead of grumbling, I blushed wildly while Jacob laughed.

"Alright come on Bells," he exclaimed, "Let's get you something to eat before you start eating the trees…"

* * *

"So what's going on at the bonfire tonight that I just couldn't miss?" I asked around a mouthful of hamburger.

Jacob, cheeks puffed out in his eating extravaganza, managed a painful looking swallow as he replied, "Nothing, really. It's just time for the Pack to have some bonding time is all…"

Something about the way he said it immediately made me suspicious, but I ignored it in favor of shoveling another handful of fries into my mouth. It was another few minutes before either of us spoke, content to just satiate the hunger we'd prolonged for the past hour or so. As soon as we'd reached Jacob's house and stumbled upon Billy in the kitchen we'd waited (somewhat patiently) for the old man to fix us lunch. While it was delicious, the waiting had been nearly agonizing. Jacob and I had tried distracting ourselves while the smells of fried meat tantalized us from in the kitchen by playing cards.

Jacob nearly ate a card. I lost.

He still won the first burger off the grill.

"Everything okay in here?" Billy Black wheeled around the corner, grinning broadly at the looks of pure contentment on my face and Jacob's.

Jacob leaned back, patting his still flat stomach as he exclaimed, "Have I told you lately just how much I love you dad?"

Billy rolled his eyes and grumbled playfully, "Look at that Bella; used for my cooking abilities. This is what you have to look forward to in the future."

I laughed and told him, "No one ever said taking care of a werewolf would be easy."

The older Black shook his head, turning around to wheel out of the room as he murmured, "That's for sure…"

Jacob shook his head, smiling broadly as he protested, "As much as I love my two favorite people in the world talking about me while I'm sitting right here…"

I nudged him playfully and teased, "Ah come on Jake, you know what they say about people talking about you."

He raised an eyebrow at me as he asked, "Uh, something about sneezing right?"

Rolling my eyes through my smile I told him, "No. You're only somebody if someone's talking about you."

Putting on a mock hurt expression Jacob got up to take our plates to the sink no the other side of the room. "Bella Swan are you saying that I'm a nobody?" He exclaimed outrageously.

I stood to my feet, shuffling off towards the living room where Jacob followed me. Hiding my smile as well as I could I told him, "Jacob Black would I ever say something like that to you?"

I splayed out on the couch, pretending to watch TV as he sauntered into the room after me. Without a word Jacob leaned over me, a hand on either side of my head as he murmured dangerously, "Is that an agreement?"

With his body so close to mine, face inches away from mine I was finding it hard to concentrate on anything, let alone the answer to his question. I managed to choke out, "…maybe…"

Leaning even closer to me, so close that I could feel his breath mingling with my own, Jake murmured, "Well I guess I'm going to have to teach you a lesson then, _Miss Swan_…"

Breathless I waited for the axe to fall, and I still had to get in one more word. "What's that, _Mr. Black_?" I whispered in a mocking tone.

Jacob gripped both of my wrists in one of his big hands so that, for a wild second, I thought he was going to throw me. Instead, he took his free hand, lowered it slowly…

…and proceeded to attack my stomach with vicious force. The laughter that I had tried so hard to contain earlier spewed from my mouth like water as he tickled me mercilessly, endless in his torture of my body.

"Ha-ha!...Jacob, ha-ha!...Stop it!...Ha-ha!" I gasped breathlessly, wiggling around in a vain effort to escape.

Jacob, chuckling unrepentantly above me, yelled over my shrieks, "You can get out of this Bella. All you have to do is tell me I'm the greatest."

"Ha! Never! Ah-HAHA!"

For how long the torture continued I had no idea, but it only stopped when I was crying with laughter, tears streaming down my face as I laughed. I bucked upwards with a particularly interesting shock and froze when I realized that Jacob was straddling me. He closed his eyes, a small groan escaping as he sank a little closer to me.

Biting my bottom lip uncertainly I whispered, "Jacob…?"

He was silent for so long I opened my mouth to ask him if he was okay when his eyes shot open. His expression gave me butterflies as the depths of his eyes were swirled with a mixture of shock and…_longing_. I gasped out loud at the expression on his face, but it wasn't until he whispered my own name that I started to freak out.

"Bella…" My name came out as a sensual breath, a feeling of absolute desire underlying his normally husky breath.

He was closer than ever, and for the first time it felt so easy to just give in. After all, I knew exactly how Jacob felt about me so I had no fear of rejection. And he was so willing, so warm, so _close_…

"Jake…" I breathed back at him, my eyes slowly fluttering closed of their own accord. "I…"

"Shhh…" Jacob interrupted me. "It's okay Bells I won't hurt you. I swear it."

There was no way I could argue with the conviction in his voice, the absolute certainty with which he said it. So there we were, on his living room floor, close enough for our mouths to touch if we would just find the strength when…

"Hey Jake man we've been wondering where you been…all…day?"

Both Jacob and I jumped at the sounds of at least 3 people coming in on us in the living room, Jake cursing under his breath as they all came in. I managed to glance over his shoulder at Quil, Embry and Paul as they stared at the interesting image before them. I can only imagine what they saw exactly without understanding what had happened before that.

Jacob, planted over the girl he was totally in love with; said girl lying beneath him with a passionately flushed face, faces close enough that they could have been kissing moments before. Oh yeah, they got an eyeful.

Jacob jumped up as quickly as if he had been electrocuted, growling at the boys, "What the hell, don't any of you know how to knock?"

He helped me to my feet, tugging me slightly behind him for which I was entirely grateful. Though I knew that it would take much more than Jacob's bulky body to hide my blinding blush.

Quil shuffled slightly uncomfortably, but Paul called outright, "We never had to knock before."

Jacob crossed his arms and sighed. "What do you guys want?" He asked, his normal personality bleeding through his irritation.

The boys seemed to sense that he was cooling off and grinned through their previous embarrassment. "Sam's taking us out to the cliffs for a little dive," Embry explained.

"Yeah, you in?" Quil asked expectantly.

Jacob's whole face lit up before he turned at looked at me as though I would give him the answer. And maybe he was. The boys turned expectant gazes onto me, looking so hopeful, so excited, how could I say no without seeming like the bad guy?

"You should go Jake. It sounds like fun," I told him, his grin the most rewarding prize I could have asked for.

All three of the boys on the other side of the room whooped! while Embry called out, "I always knew I liked you Vampire Girl."

They immediately launched into plans for the afternoon: what cliff they were going to jump off, what time, where Sam was now. I sighed as Jacob and Paul started wrestling on the floor for who would get to jump first and plopped back down on the couch.

"Oh man, what did I just do?"


	5. Chapter 4: For Better or Worse

**Disclaimer: Even after all the time it took me to update, I STILL don't own the rights to Twilight or any of Stephenie's characters! Rats!**

**A/N: Okay...now, before everyone goes jumping on me for taking so long with the updating (completely my fault), I've been really, er, busy. I just graduated last weeked (was it really just last weeked...?) so things have been very hectic around my house. Between trying to get a job, the relatives, the start of summer and the college crap I've got to get together, I've been pretty buried. Well, that and I've just had MAJOR writer's block with this story, lol! I'll be honest, this is pretty much a filler chapter, but I figured something would be better than nothing, right? Anyway, A/N at the end so I'll let you all get reading!**

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Chapter 4: For Better or Worse

_"Living at Risk is jumping off the cliff, and building your wings on the way down"_ ~Ray Bradbury

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For about the millionth time in an hour, I wondered what the hell kind of spell Jake had put me under to make me agree to this.

After the four of them (Quil, Embry, Paul and Jacob) planned and pondered for about an hour, they agreed on just one thing:

They wanted to jump off of something _big_.

Of course, they were going to stick around the local cliffs because Sam was bringing Emily, Seth, the youngest, was coming along, Jared was bringing Kim, and, of course, I was going. Still, the fact that three girls and a fifteen year old were going to be accompanying them did not deter any of the wolves in the slightest.

It wasn't going to stop them from jumping off the largest cliff on First Beach: Cemetery Point. The name itself had me gagging with apprehension, but if Jacob was happy, then I wasn't going to take that away from him. Besides, if he went cliff diving, maybe it would take his mind off of our 'almost kiss'. The whole incident replayed in my head made me feel a tad bit faint, so I avoided thinking of it at all costs. It was definitely more than difficult as we sat at the kitchen table together with the boys, Jacob's arm protectively wrapped around my waist under said table. After a while I forgot about the arm, but my semi-constant glances at him were always intercepted by his own, as though we were both afraid that one or the other was going to get up and leave.

"Hello! Earth to Jacob and Bella!"

Paul's voice interrupted glance #5674, and Jacob's attention snapped from my eyes to his quick tempered friends' in a heartbeat.

"What now?" He exclaimed, and I watched as Embry rolled his eyes and Quil shook his head with a grin on his face.

"I said, Sam and Emily are on their way there already," Paul told him slowly, as though Jacob were a child who didn't understand what he was saying.

Jacob growled at the condescending tone, but nodded once in agreement. Quil smiled at him and explained, "If we leave now we can probably get there at the same time. If Bella drives then she'll make it there-"

"She's not driving," Jacob interrupted him and all three boys looked up at him in confusion.

"So, what, she turned into a werewolf overnight too?" Embry joked, though I intercepted his small sniff in my direction, as though he were checking for himself whether I was an animal.

"No, she just ain't driving that's all. Bells and I have got a new way to travel," Jacob told him, and winked in my direction. Of course my face flushed in its normal way, but the thought of being on Jacob's back again, running through the forest as freely as though I belonged there…

I smiled.

"Okay…fine. Either way we should leave soon," Paul ground out through what seemed to be gritted teeth. He was quite obviously the most anxious to get going out of the entire group, and I was more than willing to do whatever he wanted before he got truly angry…

Jacob seemed to sense his friend's anxiety as well and quickly tried to temper the sudden tension in the room. Punching Paul lightly (or what appeared to be light for a werewolf) Jake joked, "What's the rush Paul? You got a girl waiting for you on the cliff?"

For what seemed like the first time all afternoon Paul cracked a wide grin and exclaimed, "Whatever! You'll never see _me _getting led around by some girl."

Jacob glanced quickly at me before replying, "Eh, it's not so bad. You just gotta find the right girl."

I blushed brighter than what I had before, ignoring the internal ribbing I was giving myself. Quil and Embry nudged each other making little kissing noises in our direction until Jacob was chasing them both around the room with a vengeance. I couldn't help but to grin and laugh at the three of them, shouting out playful banter and insults while they tore Jacob's living room apart. They reminded me of the brothers I always saw on TV who fought and wrestled around, laughing at the comfort of just being together. They were so obviously closer than friends, despite the fact that none of them was blood related.

"_What would you say to meeting my family?"_

The thought hit me hard enough that I was glad I was sitting, the memory sending my head through the roof. I clutched the edge of the table hard, willing _his _voice to just leave me be at long last…

"_I won't lose you, Bella…"_

Jacob's voice suddenly cut through my personal hell and I gasped out loud at the sudden intrusion. It had been so clear and strong that I had to look over in the living room to make sure that he hadn't actually spoken. However, it was obvious that Jacob was still in the middle of the scuffle with his pack brothers so that for a long second I remained frozen in confusion.

In the instant that I looked at him, Jacob's attention switched from what he was doing to me. From the look on his face I could tell he knew that something was wrong, and he was at my side faster than the boys on the floor could comprehend. They fell into a blank heap, through the spot where Jacob had been moments before, looking confused and dumbfounded.

"Bells, what's wrong?" Jacob sat at my side, pushing my bangs out of my face so that he could stare into my eyes.

His efforts to find out what was wrong were in vain; I couldn't move or speak. As he stared into my eyes it felt as though he were looking into my very soul, soothing it while setting it on fire at the same time. My body began to relax from it's tense position moments before so that I was finally able to whisper, "I-I'm fine…I'm fine…"

He sighed in obvious relief though his face continued to remain concerned. "Are you sure? Look, we can just call the whole day off. I'll take you home and-!"

"No!" I exclaimed, surprised at the force behind the one word.

Jacob's face mirrored my own surprise, but still murmured, "Bella…honey, you know you don't have to do this. If you're not feeling up to it I can just take you back home…"

I continued to shake my head, embarrassed that I was making such a scene with the other guys around. "I know…but I wanted to hang out with you today. You expect me to sit home while you go jumping off the biggest cliff in Washington, so I can worry about whether or not you're alright?"

I started to rattle off on a nervous tangent, sensing that I was making a fool of myself by unable to stop despite it. For his part, Jacob was handling his amusement quite well. Though his eyes snapped with laughter, his face was deadly serious as he explained, "Bella calm down, you're worrying too much."

I opened my mouth to argue when he placed a finger over my lips and continued, "We can still hang out today. Look, I'll skip out on the cliff dive for today if it'll make you feel better. We can just hang out here on the beach…"

But even as he said it I could hear the disappointment underlying his words, and I realized that he really _did _want to jump off a huge cliff, hang out with his friends and risk his life. Who was I to take his fun away with my emotional problems and worrying? What kind of friend would I be if I took away the time with his pack brothers for a selfish reason like hanging out with me?

_A lousy one… _I answered myself.

As Jacob continued to stare at me, I steeled myself and forced a smile for his benefit. "Jake, I told you I'm fine. Why would I want you stuck with me if what you really want to do is hang out with your friends? That's not fair at all."

"Bella, it's not like-!"

"Look." I grasped his warm face in both of my hands, forcing him gently but firmly to listen to me. "I will not be the wet blanket. I'm going with you and that's final."

Jacob went completely still for a second, simply staring at me with a mixture of disbelief and amazement on his face before he completely cracked up. He started laughing, softly at first but then louder, shaking so hard that for a moment I wondered whether or not he was phasing without realizing it. I vaguely heard the other boys laughing behind me, but when I turned to look at them they quickly quieted, though the smiles didn't leave their faces.

Jake finally began to calm down when he sensed that I was definitely not amused. Wiping tears from his eyes he finally stopped and exclaimed, "'The wet blanket'? Seriously, Bells, we've got to get you some new material."

And in that instant any and all annoyance that had been directed at him disappeared in his bright and warm smile. All I could do was stare at him, the happiness and content radiating from his body into mine.

"Um…"

Embry's voice cut into our private moment like a dousing of cold water, and we reluctantly turned my attention to him. "What Embry?" Jacob growled playfully, wrapping his arm comfortably around me again.

Embry shuffled a little and opened his mouth to answer when Paul roughly reminded us that we had somewhere to be.

"Now that you guys are all made up, can we go…?"

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* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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My anticipation fairly radiated off of me as Jacob stepped behind a tree to phase, leaving Quil and Embry to watch over me while he did so. Something about my inability to stay still without getting into trouble had me needing two werewolf babysitters.

"So…how is this going to work?" Quil seemed a bit shy to ask, but it was obvious he was very interested in the answer.

I quirked an eyebrow at him and asked, "How is what going to work?"

He shrugged and continued, "You know, this not driving your truck thing. Are you gonna, you know, _ride _Jake?"

His question would have been insulting had it not been for the comical look on his face. It was obvious that he was more in awe than disgust, completely turned around by the fact that such a thing was possible. I shook my head and cleared my throat so that I wouldn't insult _him _by laughing.

"I don't really know," I tried to explain without much success. "It's kind of like riding a really big, really furry horse actually."

Quil and Embry both started laughing uproariously, especially when the russet colored wolf appeared from behind a set of trees growling. I started laughing as well at the mere look of consternation on Jacob's wolf face; obviously he didn't like being related to anything equestrian. Quil and Embry disappeared around another set of trees to phase without being attacked by their brother while I was forced to face Jake's wrath on my own.

He stomped right up to me, plopping right down so that his face was in mine. Huffing indignantly he looked as though he would be laughing if he were human. I giggled a little and whispered, "I couldn't tell them what it was really like. After all, I don't want them stealing our idea…"

He gave out a bark of laughter and turned to the side to let me on. Just as before he helped me onto his back and I clutched around his neck tightly both for the security for when we started moving and for the comfort it brought me personally.

I thought I heard Jacob sigh as he started moving before he exchanged looks with Quil, Embry and Paul. The latter three let out simultaneous barks of laughter, and I was suddenly incredibly self-conscious about the fact that they could hear each other and I couldn't.

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**A/N: Alright, it was short it's true, but feel free to review anyway! It makes me feel better, lol. And to make you all feel better, I've already started work on the next chapter and it is much better than this one. Just let me finish the next chapter of So Long as You Stay and I'll get right back to this story. Thanks for reviewing ahead of time guys!**


	6. Chapter 5: Complicated

**Disclaimer: Wonders if she really has to keep giving you guys the satisfaction of saying I don't own anything every time I update? It's really quite saddening…**

**A/N: **Alright guys, here's yet another chapter from yours truly! But this is actually a little different from anything I've done in the past. This chapter, as a special gift to you all, is written in my favorite wolf boy's perspective. Now, before you guys get all excited (or not), truly the thanks (or blame) for my sudden need to let Jacob's voice be heard came from very gracious reviewer **XxMidnightMoonxX. **

I'd been on the fence for a while about writing every other chapter in his POV, but when Midnight asked for it I took it as a sign to proceed with my original plan, lol! Now, this isn't going to be for the rest of the story and unfortunately (or fortunately) we won't be seeing Jacob every other chapter, but every 5th chapter as gift of sorts for you guys hanging in there with me! : )See! You guys reviewing really does do some good! Lol I'll shut up and let you guys get reading now

**Quick Note: **_italics-_the boys thoughts

_italics underlined_- Jake's thoughts

_**italics bold**_- Jacob's Bella flashbacks

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Chapter 5: **Damn, could my life get anymore difficult?**

_**Loving someone that doesn't love you is like reaching for a star - You know you'll never reach it but you just got to keep trying.** _~Anonymous

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**Jacob's POV**

Though at first it had seemed like a good idea, it became pretty obvious within the first few minutes that Bella riding on my back was turning out to be a pretty stupid on my part. It was a good plan in a logical sense; I could think of at least 5 good reasons why being her primary mode of transportation was more _logical _than just having her drive. Earlier in the day it hadn't been bad at all; it had been as freeing as just running by myself had ever been. But…after our heated encounter in the living room (that we should have finished, damn it…) I was starting to think of things in a different, er, perspective. Still, I've never been a quitter and I damn sure wasn't about to start then. In fact, to prove to myself that I wasn't just being stupid, I started thinking up a list of reasons in my head to help myself adjust to the girl on my back.

_Why Bella riding on Jake's back is good_:

Reason #1: I get to carry Bella Swan.

Reason #2: I don't have to listen to that wheezy truck of hers and worry about whether

it's gonna carry us off a cliff with it's last dying breath.

Reason #3: She's obviously having a great time up there

Reason #4: She's safer with me in this form than she is with me human. In the seconds that it would take me to phase, something could easily happen to her, no matter how small the risk.

Reason #5: Bella is riding on _my_ back, by choice, and not that slimy bloodsucker's…

I grinned at my last reason, and I heard Paul give out a bark of a laugh next to me as well. Quil and Embry were having their own internal debate about who was going to get hurt first jumping off of Cemetery Point. Luckily for me, tuning them out was less of a problem than I had anticipated, so long as I kept myself thinking about my 5 good reasons of course.

Unfortunately, on top of the 5 good reasons, there were a million and one reasons why it was the _worst_ idea I had ever come up with. On top of the fact that I was straining to keep my thoughts to myself while the other 3 were obviously listening in I _and _concentrating on not accidentally throwing Bella off, the 5 not so good reasons I was trying to keep locked away surfaced without any kind of warning or seemingly logical bit of order.

_Why Bella riding on Jake's back is bad_:

Reason #1: Bella Swan, girl of my dreams, most beautiful woman in the world, was _riding _me with absolutely _no _idea how intimate the gesture really was on my part. Only imprinted mates are supposed to even be allowed to know of our existence, much less to use us as some kind of pack mule…

Reason #2: Sam's not going to be happy when he finds out…

Reason #3: If her thighs tighten around me one more time I think I might just howl out loud…

Reason #4: Bella's a smart girl, and it's not going to take her long to realize that, technically, she's riding me while I'm _naked_…

Reason #5: She thinks of me as her…_horse_. Ugh…

_Yeah, there is _that_…ha ha!_

A growl erupted from my throat at Embry's thought directed towards me. He ignored the way I bared my teeth at him, a telltale sign that I didn't want to be messed with and continued, _Seriously, Vamp Girl is riding you like a tricycle and you're just taking it. Are you a man or a werewolf?_

_Neither,_ I wanted to growl back at him, _I'm Jacob_.

Embry seemed taken aback at my less casual rebuff, but there was no reason for me to feel bad when I knew he wouldn't be the last one to get on my case about our odd situation. Being an animal had always been sort of a sore spot with me so the less I heard about it the better…

_So, Jake…a really big horse, huh?_

Well, so much for that. Sure enough, I grimaced as Quil's teasing voice invaded my head and shuddered at the evidence that I never really was alone in my head when I was with these guys. At this point it was pretty much assured I would be getting absolutely no peace the entire way to the cliffs.

_Shut it, Quil…_

_Really, though! I mean, it's one thing to be compared to a _dog, _but a _horse_? Now that's just wrong and I don't care how you look at it…_

When I continued to ignore him his thoughts took a sudden nosedive into a serious terrain I didn't want to travel through just yet. Though I tried to warn him off with a subtle shake of my head, he continued as though he didn't catch the gesture. Thinking back on the day we'd been running through the woods and I'd accidentally spouted the information to the entire pack through my thoughts, Quil seemed suddenly relentless about a point he needed to get across.

'_So, I was thinking here Jake…' _I had a hard time keeping in my "No shit" retort… _'When are you gonna tell her?'_

Though the question was expected, I still tensed and faltered slightly in my stride. Bella's hands tightened in the fur on the back of my neck in response and I mentally slapped myself for being such a loser that she noticed.

"Hey!" She called over the roar of the wind as we continued to speed through the forest. Head bent down to talk directly into my ear she questioned, "Are you okay?"

Despite my obvious upset, I couldn't help but roll my eyes and smile at her concern. She was always so worried about everyone; with such a big heart it was a wonder she had time for it all.

Though I couldn't speak I gave her a reassuring bark that to convey what I was really thinking back to her, _I'm _fine _Bella. You worry too much…_

Quil and Embry both shot me curious looks and I didn't have to wonder long at what it was for since Embry blurted, _"You know she can't understand you like this, right?"_

Underneath the playfully condescending tone I could hear their very real concern, but I shook my head. They didn't know my Bella, couldn't possibly know that she'd understand me in any language at any time, because she understood me better than I understood myself. Sure enough a few seconds later she hit me playfully on the back, voice ringing out through the forest as she laughed, "I'm not worrying, I'm just making sure they don't tease you too much."

At that she glowered down at the other 3 running alongside me and called down, "You've had your fun boys, now leave him alone. Just because I can't hear you doesn't mean I won't take you down."

The protective way she held tighter to my ruff combined with the fact that she seemed to know exactly what we'd been talking about for the past few minutes had Quil, Embry and Paul looking duly reprimanded. Quil actually whined, though it was much too low for Bella to hear, and even Paul shot me an apologetic look.

I couldn't help but laugh out loud, a bark of amusement I needed. I could have kissed Bella for getting them off my case.

"_Apparently you already did that today…"_

"_From the look he gave us when we walked in it was an _almost_."_

Embry and Paul's voices invaded my momentary triumph and I nearly buckled at the memory from earlier in the afternoon. I had been so close it was almost worse than not ever having gotten that close in the first place. When I thought of how soft her face had been in my hands, the smell of her sweet breath as it mingled with mine, the way she'd whispered my name, the feel of her _body _underneath me…

"_Hey, uh, lover boy? You're salivating."_

"_Damn Jake, you're gonna have to tell her soon. I can't stand to see you torture yourself this way…"_

Quil had a great point, but he was also being completely stupid. If he only knew how many times I'd tried to tell her, all the times that we'd been alone together and I had been about to just blurt it out just to have the burden off my chest, only for her to say or do something that completely turned me around.

"_**I want to forget, I really do. But I just…I can't…"**_

"_**I'm really sorry Jake."**_

"_**You're never going to stop letting me get my way Jake. You love me too much."**_

I reigned in my groan with supreme difficulty with only the knowledge that Bella will freak out when I do keeping me from losing altogether. Did she have any idea what it did to me when she said things like that? The pain I went through when she shut down and refused to let us go any further in our relationship? How hard it was for me to keep it together when I all I wanted to do was track down the bastard who made her this way and rip him to pieces. Of course, her "attacks" certainly don't help the situation at all.

The image of Bella in the throes of what I call her "Hell cycles" takes over my mind. Her face, pale and drawn, looked so pained I couldn't help but feel as though the pain were my own. Curled up in the farthest corner of the Rabbit as she can get without falling out the door, her body folded in around itself into the tightest fetal position it will allow. Her breathing turns labored as her eyes go wide, her hair surrounding her panic stricken expression as she clutches at her head like a lifeline. It's obvious that she's hearing _his _voice again, or another memory from when _he _was here since she rocks back and forth murmuring strange things under breath like, "Please...please _stop_…no…_don't leave me_…"

"_Jacob…"_

"_Isn't she getting any better man? I mean, it's been _months_. How much longer are you gonna have to wait before she gets over him and moves on…?"_

I winced at the question, but not necessarily because it was insulting; I had asked myself the same thing for how long now? But almost as soon as I asked myself, I knew the answer.

"_You guys…you just don't understand. She was in love with him and he just up and left her. That's gotta take it out of a person, especially Bella. She's so sensitive and she loves so hard…"_

_Except you…_

I pushed my own internal thought away before the guys can hear it, but I can tell by the sympathetic looks on their faces that they caught it whether I wanted them to or not. Pretending I don't notice I continue, _"Bella needs time, and I'll give her all the time she needs. When she's ready, I'll be here."_

And really she was getting better. In the beginning it had been awful; the first time I saw it I about threw up and had a heart attack at the same time. One minute she'd been sitting there calm as ever, I'd walked into the kitchen for a second for a couple of sodas, and she'd been practically foaming at the mouth when I'd come back. Curled up in a ball on the couch she'd gone into convulsions without any provocation or physical reasoning at all. Charlie had warned me that it could get this way, but to hear it and see it are two entirely different things. I'd picked her up and sat her in my lap as gently as if she were made of glass, alternating between calling her name and soothing her with soft words and calm caresses. She'd cried and whimpered, rocked back and forth in my lap, pushed me away while clutching me closer and stared around her as though she were lost for so long I considered calling Charlie.

She'd eventually calmed down enough to acknowledge my presence, but only long enough to whisper, "I'm sorry Jacob…God I'm sorry…" before she passed out in my arms. Those were forevermore the magic words that kept me running back.

"_**I'm sorry Jacob…" **_

"_**Jacob, I'm so sorry!" **_

Somehow the words gave me hope; the fact that she was sorry meant that she was at least trying to get over him, and if I helped in any way she could more than count on me.

"…_dude…"_Quil's voice was a consoling whisper._"How do you deal with it all? I mean, how long are you gonna wait before you finally put your foot down?"_

For a long moment, I didn't know how to answer. Then, the sound of Bella's laughter floated above me and I just about melted. Looking up at her, the look on her face was priceless. Carefree and wild, her hair flowed out behind her like a brilliant bronze curtain in the bright sunlight of the afternoon. She threw her arms out and laughed again, looking for the all the world as though nothing could touch her. I smiled despite our bleak conversation and knew that I had my answer.

_As long as she's happy…I just want her to be happy…_

And before any of them could respond I raced ahead of them, Bella laughing even harder from atop her perch as I lifted my head to the trees and howled.

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**A/N:** Alright guys, feel free to review. I personally really liked this chapter and as you guys can see feedback affects the story at least a little bit : ) Next chappie we'll be back to Bella but it should be coming sooner rather than later. Thanks again to **XxMidnightMoonxX** without whom this chapter probably wouldn't have gotten written; at least this way, lol!

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	7. Chapter 6: Family

**Disclaimer: **See chapter 1

**A/N: Wow, it's kind of been a while hasn't it? lol Sorry about that guys, but let me tell you that it's been pretty busy around here. I'll admit that this chapter isn't as long as I would have liked for it to be, but it is something and hopefully you'll like it. As always thanks for being patient with me and enjoy! **

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Chapter 6: Family

_"Friends are relatives you make for yourself."_ ~Eustache Deschamps

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The ride was over much too soon in my opinion, though by the time Jacob gently let me down from his back my hair and body told a completely different story. My hands were red and slightly cramped into the same position I'd been holding onto Jake's fur in while my hair was too insane to even begin to describe. But anytime I looked into Jacob's adoring gaze I blushed and didn't feel quite so unattractive.

As soon as we arrived at the cliffs I slipped off his back and called out in an uncharacteristic display of happiness, "Wooh! Talk about a rush!"

Quil, the first to appear from behind his tree of choice re-dressed, laughed at me while exclaiming, "Have fun did you Vamp Girl?"

I laughed, for once my old nickname fueling a foolish sense of pride rather than triggering a hateful surge of pain. Instead I gnashed my teeth playfully at him, giggling as the boys laughed out loud at my ridiculous display.

Suddenly a pair of overly warm and strong arms circled around me from behind, Jacob's voice playfully growling in my ear, "Aw, guys come on. I thought we agreed that Bells has been upgraded to DW?"

I cocked my head in confusion and parroted back, "DW? What's DW?"

Paul reappeared at my side and chuckled back at me, "Your new nickname of course. It stands for Dances with Wolves."

"Even though Horse Herder might be a better name for her now she's riding our friend Jake here all over the forest!" Embry called out as he stepped from behind the line of trees, adjusting the elastic band on his shorts.

They all burst out laughing, ignoring the tell tale blush that brightened my cheeks ten fold on my face. After a few minutes of hilarity Jacob decided to cut my burning face some slack and exclaimed, "Alright, alright let's get going. You know how Sam gets when we keep him waiting."

With the reminder of the _real _reason we'd traveled so far reinstituted in the boys' minds, the excitement from earlier in the afternoon was renewed. Together we headed towards the beach, the sound of crashing waves my only indication that we were going the right way though everyone else seemed to know the exact directions. Quil, Embry and Paul strayed in front as Jacob stayed with me and my "ridiculously human pace".

"You can walk with them you know," I had suggested after a few minutes of comfortable silence together, "I'm not going to burst into flames the second you take your eyes off of me."

I carefully gauged his reaction as I waited for his response. Though my tone was teasing I was completely serious. As much as I loved having him with me I still realized that this was essentially he and his _friends'_ trip, so I planned on keeping "Bella related distraction" to a minimum.

He looked at me for a long moment before shaking his head and chuckling under his breath. "Well you never know with you Bells," he exclaimed, throwing a casual arm around my shoulder, "I turn my head for a second and you could trip and crack your skull open!"

I blushed and grumbled, "_One_ time and you people just never know how to let a girl live it down…"

Jacob laughed out loud as I recalled the memory from a few months back.

I had had the brilliant idea that we go hiking the day after it had rained buckets, even more than usual which was saying a lot for Forks. While Jake had had no problem maneuvering over and around the foliage and surrounding nature, my natural clumsiness had gotten the best of me halfway through the woods. He had turned to look at the map while I continued to try and climb, and before I knew it I was slipping down a rather steep incline that resulted in a minor concussion and Jacob hauling me to the hospital for stitches.

Charlie was merely concerned.

Jacob, after I got all fixed up of course, was ridiculously amused.

Neither had let me live it down for weeks.

I shoved the werewolf presently at my side and offered him a grudging smile as I exclaimed, "The point is, you don't have to baby sit me. I want you to have a good time today so don't think you have to keep looking over your shoulder to make sure I'm still there."

Heaving a huge sigh Jake turned to me with suddenly serious eyes that put me off for a second. They were the most beautiful shade of brown…

"Bella, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm _not_ babysitting you? I know it's hard to believe but I actually _like _having you around. We're friends right?"

Something about the term didn't seem right, like it wasn't enough to describe what Jake and I had, but I nodded and my favorite brilliant smile lit up his face. "Well then you don't need to worry about me not enjoying myself. You're here, so what else really matters?"

I blushed but smiled happily at him, and we lapsed back into comfortable silence.

We watched the boys for a few more moments as they trudged ahead, playfully shoving and pushing each other into trees when Jacob suddenly asked, "You know they were just kidding? About the Dances with Wolves thing?"

The question was so unexpected and off topic that for a second I wanted to tell him that. The genuine worry in Jacob's voice, however, told me that there was more to his question than just random curiosity. I nodded and giggled, "Yeah I get it. You know, because I run with wolves now instead of…vampires…"

My throat closed a little over the word, choking me as I hurriedly tried to compose myself. It turned out there was no need for me to hide my difficulty. If there were anyone there that would appreciate my sudden verbal revelation it was Jake. He stared at me with a mixture of awe and trepidation, as though he weren't sure whether to congratulate me on my new accomplishment or be wary of the moment when I broke into pieces.

I couldn't help but halt a little as well as I waited for the nausea and accompanying memories to take over, but after a moment of cautious mental look out nothing happened. Though the initial taste of agony on my tongue had been fierce, I found that I was feeling just fine. I attributed it mostly to Jacob's presence and I continued as though nothing had happened, praying that he'd do the same.

"A-Anyway, I'm glad I've got a nickname now."

Jake, continuing to stare at me a little askance lifted an eyebrow but thankfully got my hint to drop it and exclaimed, "Yeah? 'Bells' and 'Clutz' not enough for you, eh?"

I shoved him and giggled as I told him, "Seriously! I feel like, I don't know, like I'm a part of the group now. Officially, you know? It feels…good."

I smiled up at him and for a second his eyes lit up with pride and another emotion I didn't have time to decipher as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and murmured, "And you'll always be a part of me Bella…always…"

**

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"There you guys are! We were worried you'd never get here!"

Emily, Sam's fiancée's sweet voice carried to us on the breeze down the beach as Jacob, Paul, Quil, Embry and I finally emerged from the trees. She waved excitedly, a small group collected behind her laughing and preparing for the jump.

Sam came to stand by her side, his dark hair blowing in the light breeze that surrounded the beach. Already shirtless and clad in black board shorts, his smile as he stared down at Emily lightened his seemingly rough exterior. I had never exactly been comfortable around Sam due to our past history concerning Jacob, but when he was around Emily his whole demeanor changed so that I wanted to be his friend too. Jacob had once told me that Emily was what changed Sam's whole world concerning being a werewolf as well as his imprint, and the scar on her face that she'd received from him only brought the two closer.

"Hey Emily what's going on!" Paul shouted across the beach, and he, Embry and Quil took off. Sam intercepted them just as they got close enough to Emily and tackled them all in one move. The four boys wrestled and growled, gnashed their human teeth as though they were in their canine forms. To anyone else witnessing the spectacle it looked as though they were trying to kill each other; anyone who knew them could hear the laughter under the growls, the taunting, the watchful way they rough housed as though they didn't want to see the others hurt.

Jacob, of course, smiled at me before taking off into the melee and I laughed out loud as I got closer. As soon as I got to Emily's side she gave me a huge hug and a friendly smile, one of my favorite things about her. She was always so friendly and ridiculously resilient to anything that happened over the years that I couldn't help but admire her in a big way.

"Bella it's been so long how are you?" she exclaimed as she held me at arms length, seeming to inspect me the way my mother used to when I got finished playing on the playground.

There were many answers to that particular question and for a long moment I had nothing really to say. Out of the corner of my eye I caught sight of Jacob, suddenly shirtless but laughing hysterically as Paul, Sam and Embry tried to take him down. The suddenly three on one battle was hardly fair but still seemed like fun. Finally Embry braced him in a headlock and when Sam and Paul tackled the both of them they all went down into a laughing mess of male testosterone.

My smile widened when Jake caught my eye and I turned back to Emily before replying, "I'm…I'm good."

She looked to where my eyes had roved and giggled. "I'd say you're a little better than 'good' with Jake around, Bella."

My eyes widened and I flushed at least 3 shades of red as I stammered, "J-Jake? No we're…we're just friends!"

Yet even as the words spilled out of my mouth I knew that I was lying. Jake and I were more than friends for sure, but there wasn't anything necessarily romantic in our relationship…

A flash of earlier on his living room with him hovering above me shoved itself front and center into the spotlight of my mind and for a second I couldn't help but to loosen my resolve a bit. Before I could talk myself out of that particular vision his voice invaded my head like a searing blaze.

"_It's okay Bells I won't hurt you. I swear it..." _

My entire body erupted into goose bumps at the memory of Jacob's face just inches from my own, his sweet breath mingling with my own as he made his declaration…

"Eh-HEM…"

I jumped as Emily's throat clearing interrupted my mental musings and I blushed ten shades of red at the knowing smile on her face. Before I could protest further she laughed out loud and took a hold of my hand, dragging me over to where Kim, Jared and Seth were seated.

The latter two were watching the other wrestling boys with two completely different and yet very similar expressions. Seth looked as though he were itching to join in the melee, practically bouncing up and down while Jared rolled his eyes but smiled. Though it was clear that Seth wished he were in on the action and Jared looked almost exasperated at their antics, both looked on with a brotherly affection that was hard to miss. As we approached Kim, Jared's fairly new and rather pretty native imprint, turned to say something to him but stopped when he looked at her. Somehow the look that passed between them made me want to shiver. He stared so intently into her eyes it was as though he were discovering why there was life on Earth, had just solved the greatest mystery of all time just from looking at her. And Kim? For a moment the look on her face made me want to laugh, but then I glanced over to where Jake was still trapped under his friends and I couldn't say I didn't know the feeling…

As soon as we were close enough Seth and Jared looked up as the former cried, "Bella you came!"

I smiled and laughed, hugging the exuberant young wolf as he all but pounced on me in his excitement. "Seth, good Lord you've been eating!" I exclaimed as he grabbed and swung me around in a hug that would have made his mother proud.

He laughed and set me gently back on my feet as he playfully flexed and posed. "What can I say Bella, I've been packing it on for the ladies."

I laughed out loud at that and pinched his rather muscular arm, agreeing only to myself that there were certainly going to be enough girls that wouldn't mind his "packing it on"…

Before I could reply a familiar weight settled across my shoulders as Jacob chuckled, "Trust me Seth, it's gonna take a lot more than an impressive set of muscles to get you a girl."

Quil and Embry approached, laughing and dusting the liberal amount of sand off of their pants. "Yeah, but if he keeps his mouth shut at least he's got a better shot."

Ignoring his friends' jibes as Jacob, Quil, Embry and Paul cracked up, Seth turned to me with his huge grin and said, 'Oh come on Bella, you'd date me right?"

I laughed and replied, "Hm…sorry Seth but you're a little young, even for me. I definitely don't need to go to jail for being a cougar."

Jacob snorted out loud, obviously reining in his amusement as Seth winked and told me, "Don't worry baby, I'll wait."

We were all still cracking up when Sam came up, hand in hand with Emily who looked on all of us as though her entire world were complete. Sam likewise looked as though he couldn't be more pleased, his rather rare but warm smile lighting up his face.

"Come on guys, are you telling me we came all the way out here just for me to kick all of your butts and take turns wailing on Seth? Let's go jump some cliffs," he exclaimed followed by 4 whoops and a chuckle.

Quil, Embry and Paul alike took off down the beach, hollering and otherwise making complete fools of themselves. I watched them go with a smile, only to find that when I turned around Jacob was smiling down at me. The look in his eyes stopped my breath for a second, the way he seemed to look straight down into my soul and soothe it.

For a long second I held his gaze only to finally blush and murmur self-consciously, "What…?"

His smile widened as he murmured back, "I'm glad you decided to come out today."

Momentarily speechless I could do nothing but smile back at him, hugging him as though it were the most natural thing in the world. His warmth radiated through my jeans and t-shirt like a tan, warm and comforting. I pulled back just enough to look up into his face and breathed, "You didn't think I'd let you have all the fun without me did you?"

He laughed the natural laugh that I loved and started to say something when Sam's voice carried back, "Come on Jake, let's get a move on!"

Rolling his eyes Jacob yelled back, "I'm coming, I'm coming!"

I laughed and told him, "Looks like I'm holding you back again. Better get going before they come to pry you away…"

He smiled and finally let me go, the loss of his warmth a palpable thing. "You worry too much Bells,' he exclaimed, seemingly reading my mind as I thought to tell him to be careful. "Don't worry, I'll always come back for you."

Before I could say anything else he kissed me gently on the forehead and took off down the beach after the others, leaving me blushing but smiling brightly in his wake.

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**A/N: **What can I say? I do love reviews! Hope you enjoyed!


	8. Chapter 7: For You

**Disclaimer**: See Chapter 1

**A/N:** OMG you guys it has definetely been a while, huh? Trust me I've missed everyone as much I've missed writing and I'm glad that I finally have this chance to get some more work out! I would waste your time by explaining how busy I've been etc., but I know that doesn't matter so much as this chapter. I've yet to get the last of the edits out for this so there are going to be some mistakes but I just couldn't wait to get this up! Have a good read : )

_Italics: _Memory

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Chapter 7: For You

"The strong must **protect** the Sweet" ~Dan Castellaneta

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I bit my lip, trying and failing once again at keeping the sigh building up inside me from gusting out at a moment's notice. My other option was to start screaming at the top of my lungs to let out the leftover emotion I hadn't burned off in the afternoon but knew without a doubt that screaming would be worse than my groan. Instead, I tightened my hand further around the steering wheel until my knuckles went white with the exertion. But no matter the pain I was going to keep my mouth shut…

"You're _sure _you're alright?"

_Well you win some you lose some…_

"Yes Bella, and I'll still be fine when you ask me in the next 5 minutes. Seriously, I'll be healed by morning."

I grimaced as I once more looked over at Jacob holding a rather thick towel wrapped around a pack of ice to his temple. Though the gash that had previously stretched from the left side of his head to the center of his forehead had seemed to shrink since we had taken off from the beach a couple of hours before, the red and purple coloring around the area was still cause for alarm in my book.

"Geez Jake I _knew _you guys shouldn't have been out there! I should have just gone with my first instinct and dragged you off the instant we got there," I couldn't help but complain once more, my panic at the situation still not entirely dissipated.

I could feel more than see Jacob's eye roll but I was too worked up to care. "Bella, it was just an _accident_. Stuff like this happens all the time with us," he tried to explain in a voice of exaggerated patience, "Werewolves, remember?"

Though he had tried his answer did absolutely nothing to placate me. If anything now I was verging on terrified because something could happen to him while I wasn't even there, and apparently it would be normal.

_The afternoon at the beach had been going entirely well, Emily, Kim and I sitting and chatting while the boys had made their way up to Cemetery Point to jump. The instant they had hit the top loud whoops and cheers had greeted us down on the beach and an ecstatic tanned figure I immediately identified as Jacob had waved frantically down at us. The instant I saw him on the easily hundred foot peak my mind went into panic overdrive and it was all I could do to smile shakily and wave back at him. When I glanced over at Emily and Kim they each bore similar expressions of mixed anxiety, placation and a mask of faux happiness for their respective imprints._

_Through my fake smile I had murmured to them, "What are the chances I could convince Jake to come back down here without jumping?"_

_Emily really did flash a small smile at that and, without taking her eyes off of the teens and her fiancée on the cliffs replied, "For you? I'd say a very good chance."_

_And without even thinking about her answer I knew she was right. All it would have taken would be Jacob catching the look on my panic stricken face before he'd have given up his fun for the afternoon and headed back down to soothe me. Though it would have pain me to see him unhappy I couldn't say that I'd be anything less than relieved that he had made it down in one piece. Still…_

_I kept a tremulous hold on my false brightness as I continued to wave and pretend as though everything were alright while on the inside inner Bella wailed, ranted and raved at the situation. Fighting the impulse to shout I watched as one of the boys (Embry?) let out a loud whoop before pushing himself away from the cliff face and plummeting towards the tumultuous waves below._

_Watching his small figure dive towards the water I sucked in a tight breath and waited the agonizing seconds it took him to hit the ocean. I wasn't entirely soothed until his head popped above the water again and he let out a loud trumpet of victory at his landing. It was only then that I released the breath I'd been holding and regained my composure enough to clap and cheer along with the others._

_Sam was next to step up to the plate and I surreptitiously snuck a glance at Emily whose eyes got as round as saucers though her smile remained intact. It was only after Sam jumped, plummeted into the water, and had successfully reappeared that the rest of us cheered and clapped once more but Emily just looked the way that I felt: lightened that nothing had happened._

_Of course, the next up to the plate was none other than Jacob, his smug smile one I could make out even from our distance down on the beach. He waved down at me once more from the edge of the cliff and even though my blood had run cold as ice I managed to wave back enthusiastically. On the inside I groaned and attempted to control the terrified roiling in my stomach. _

_After a few seconds Jacob stopped waving but didn't stop looking at me, his eyes practically boring into my own from what felt like the top of the world. It felt as though he knew exactly how I was feeling, though whether he was trying to placate me and let me know that he was going to be fine or just trying to analyze what was wrong was a mystery. We stood there, eyes locked for what felt like an eternity before the boys started shouting things at him, no doubt teasing him mercilessly. He flashed them all a grin and shouted something back, and for one hopeful moment I thought that maybe he was calling off his turn, that he was just going to come back down to me…_

_Instead he turned back toward the cliff ledge, took a bit of a running start and leapt into the air. _

_The moment his feet left the ground my heart seemed to stop beating. In the agonizing seconds it took him to fall I felt my whole body go numb, blood seemingly stopping in my veins as I felt myself screaming on the inside. Slowly, almost as if in slow motion, I watched as he finally hit the water, sliding through the waves like a knife through butter. Another set of agonizing seconds later his head popped up above the waves like a cork and he laughed, slapping high fives with Embry and Sam._

_As soon as he resurfaced from the depths I released the breath I had unwittingly been holding and nearly sank to the sand feeling completely spent. Though I knew I was overreacting somewhat I couldn't help the feeling of absolute terror as it slowly subsided. The urge to protect Jacob had been great, and I almost laughed at the thought. Me protecting Jacob? It was absurd enough that even I was aware how weird it sounded, but there it was: I wanted to _protect_ him. He was still part human, and he could still die for heaven's sake, a worry that I previously hadn't had to think much about. _

_I was torn from my inner thoughts at the suddenly changed atmosphere between Emily and Kim. The two of them were now staring very intently at the top f the cliff, and when I looked up I let out a little gasp._

_Seth Clearwater was perched on the edge of the rocks, looking for all the world as though he were going to fly off into the sunset. The other boys were shouting at him, waving their arms as though telling him to get back from the ledge. Though at first they were somewhat gentle about it, it quickly became apparent that Seth was not going to give up so easily. I was stunned as the normally easygoing teen shouted something back at Paul, easily one of the more volatile wolves and one I didn't like to mess with. Paul took a step forward closer to Seth while Quil and Jared tried to calm the dispute, but with both Sam and Jacob who were normally leaders when it came to these circumstances down in the water all the shouting on the cliffs did nothing to alleviate the situation. _

_Still yelling at each other Seth finally seemed to say something that made Paul snap. Without a second thought he phased, teeth bared at Seth as he tried to take a snap at him. The ledge wasn't big enough for them both to phase I knew, but when Seth began shaking hysterically I knew he had either not discovered this or no longer cared. I managed to shout out, "No!" at the exact second that Seth snapped into wolf form, and then everything after that happened in a blur of shouting, confusion and fear._

_The rocky ledge, apparently not built to handle two fairly sizeable werewolves let out a loud crack before it snapped off from the rest of Cemetery Point, starting it's descent towards the water while taking Paul and Seth with it. Below in the ocean Jacob and Sam phased, though what they were going to do in their wolf forms in the water with a giant rock heading straight for them I had no idea. As Paul and Seth tumbled through the air I watched in horror as the giant rock landed what appeared to be only inches away from Jacob and Sam in the water. Seconds later the other two werewolves landed directly on top of them and they all disappeared under the foamy water with a violent splash. The boys still perched on the top of Cemetery Point shouted down into the water and Quil looked as though he was about to leap in as well, but it looked as though Jared were keeping him from doing even that._

_Down in the water Embry, whom Sam had pushed out of the way as soon as the rock began falling, phased before diving down into the water as well. Long seconds passed in which Emily and I stared into the ocean, Emily's hands over her mouth as I fought the urge to run charging into the water as well. After a few more suspenseful moments that would have made any movie director proud, three human heads popped out of the water, Sam, Embry and Paul, though Seth and Jacob were nowhere to be found. My heart pounded in my chest and I sucked in oxygen to let out a shout when Jacob came up out of the water, seemingly supporting a nearly unconscious Seth. Together they all began their long trek to the beach and I took off to greet them at the water's edge…_

I chewed on my lip and shuddered, remembering the anxious minutes it had taken them to get everyone on shore while I stood there and worried with Kim and Emily at my side. As soon as they'd hit shore Emily had extra trunks passed out to them all, something I was grateful she had thought of since I had obviously not thought that far ahead. We'd waited while they hurriedly got dressed, Jacob helping Seth, before they'd finally climbed out of the water.

They'd laid Seth out on the beach carefully, but after checking him over and finding only bumps and bruises we'd all let out a collective sigh of relief before Sam volunteered to take him home. Jacob and went to load Seth up in their Sam's truck while Sam had then proceeded to chew Paul out, basically questioning his sanity, his intelligence, wondering what in the world had possessed him to attack his own brother, and then commanding that he head straight home. By then Quil and Jared had joined us on the beach so Kim was wrapped in Jared's arms while he soothed her while Quil and Embry just sat back and enjoyed the show of Paul getting yelled at.

Quil and Embry had snickered, betting on whether or not Paul would actually apoplogize to Seth the next time he saw him.

Their normal banter helped to calm me somewhat, but it was the feel of Jacob's arms around my waist from behind me that had set me the most at ease. "You alright there DW?" he had whispered in my ear and I'd immediately turned in his arms to wrap myself around him tightly.

Trying my hardest to keep my dread in check he'd just held me close for a long, indeterminable while until I'd felt something wet fall on my shoulder. When I'd glanced over to inspect it and noticed it was red all hell broke loose. The cut on Jacob's forehead had stretched from the left side of his temple to the center of his forehead and I'd immediately gone into squeamish-Bella-hates-blood mode. I was brave enough to get a piece of his shirt

Though I had wanted to ride back with Sam and Emily so that Jacob wouldn't have to carry me all the way back to the reservation Jacob had all but growled at me when I'd made the suggestion. Sam had also quietly concurred that Jacob's injury wasn't severe enough that he couldn't run, and besides, with Seth in the back of the truck there wasn't going to be enough room for all of us.

So, sighing and worrying the whole way, I'd climbed up on Jacob's back and we'd headed back to the reservation. As soon as we'd hit reservation I'd insisted that Jacob put something on his head for the bleeding, completely nonplussed when he showed me that it was bleeding no longer and was in fact healing as rapidly as he'd insisted it would.

"Well at least put something on it for the swelling," I'd insisted childishly, "It's at least got to sting a little!"

So, making noises and stating over and over again that he was only doing this to appease me Jacob had reluctantly gathered up a rag with some ice but then smugly told me he'd only put it on his head if I held it there for him…

"…you know, because my arms are pretty worn out from dragging Seth's butt all over the beach."

Pfft. Yeah, like I believed that one.

Still, I'd sighed, rolled my eyes and held the ice over his wound, feeling guilty over the fact that he really had done a lot that day and so I shouldn't complain over something as stupid as putting ice on his head.

We'd actually fallen into a comfortable lapse of silence as we lay lazily on the couch, one of Jacob's warm arms around me as I kept his ice pack in place. We stayed still (at my insistence) until I looked at the clock and decided that I needed to get home. I was just going to call Charlie to come and get me since I'd ridden with Jacob over in the Rabbit but Jacob had insisted he'd ride with me since I seemed too upset to be alone with Charlie (sort of right actually…). I'd tried to put my foot down buy stating that he was in no fit shape to drive anywhere but when he showed me how quickly he was healing we came to a truce that I would drive the Rabbit home and he would keep the ice. I wasn't sure what kind of compromise it was

Which leads us back to me driving the Rabbit while I struggled to keep my feelings in check about the afternoon. I just kept seeing that giant rock falling into the water followed by two _wolves _falling on top of my best friend. The scene kept replaying in my head like a movie reel, over and over while I worried myself silly…

"Bells?" Jacob's soft voice interrupted my internal musings as it played for about the 10th time. He placed his warm hand over one of mine on the steering wheel and when I glanced at him he was smiling at me reassuringly.

"Yeah?" I tried to sound nonchalant but had the unfortunate effect of having it ruined by the high pitched squeak my voice had taken on, the sound of fear in my chest.

Jacob sighed and exclaimed, "Pull over."

My head snapped to look at him in surprise before I quickly turned my eyes back to the road. "Jake, we're like 10 minutes away from my house-"

"-and in those ten minutes you could kill us by veering off the road. You're shaking like a leaf and you look like you're about to pass out," he continued. "If you won't let me drive at least just pull over for a second, get it together and then we'll keep going."

I was just about to argue with him, ignore the logic behind his statement when a raccoon skittered across the road and I about jumped out of my skin. Disregarding the triumphant look Jake shot me I rolled my eyes and silently pulled over to the edge of the road. I killed the motor since it sounded like it wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway and let out a deep sigh.

Seconds later Jacob's warm hands grasped my shoulders and he pulled me over into the passenger side with a rough, "C'mere you…"

With hardly any effort at all he hauled me into his lap and though I made it seem as though I were putting up a fight we both knew I was simply getting comfortable. It was getting cooler outside, and that combined with the events of the day had left what seemed to be a permanent chill in my bones that Jake seemed more than happy to chase away.

It was silent in the small car and a few minutes had passed before I realized that Jacob was waiting for my signal for the go ahead. Not sure what to do I shifted slightly in his arms and he murmured, "You're still thinking about the cliff diving."

Wordlessly I nodded my head an affirmative.

With a sigh Jake continued, "Even though it was an accident you know that something like this could happen again."

Another nod.

"It scared you. You're worried that next time the hurt could be even worse, that the next maybe I won't come out of it."

Hesitate. Another nod. How on Earth was he getting all this…?

"Because I _know_ you Bella," he insisted, pulling me closer though it seemed he had no idea of his actions. "And you can't be worried about every little thing that comes our way. We're werewolves remember? How many times do I have to tell you that it'll take a lot more to kill us than you realize?"

I shook my head unhappily and exclaimed, "But werewolf or not you're not invincible. You can still get hurt, you can still _die!_"

Jacob opened his mouth, no doubt to come up with smart ass retort about Superman since I'd mentioned invincibility, but I shushed him with a look straight in his eyes. Fighting back angry tears as I willed him to understand I continued, "Jacob I'm not…I'm not strong enough. If anything else like that were to happen I'd only be able to stand on the sidelines, watch as you got crushed by a giant boulder, or fought off Paul or got mauled by another werewolf!"

Here I clenched my hands tightly around Jacob's t-shirt as I continued boring into his deep brown eyes. He looked surprised, as though he hadn't exactly expected this kind of reaction to what I considered to be a near death experience.

"It's not about you being a strong werewolf stuffed to the brim with super strong testosterone. It's about you coming back from doing you're super strong werewolf stuff that worries me," I insisted. "When you get hurt, I get hurt. When you're in danger I…I _feel _it. And if you were to…_leave…_"

I swallowed hard, unable to continue. Tears ran uncheck down my face now, the real reason for my upset finally out and on the table. If Jacob were to leave me like…like _him_ I would have no out, no other way to go but down a long dark tunnel that had no end in sight, because his leaving could be permanent. I would be damned before I lost Jacob to anything.

Jake and I sat for a long time in silence, him just holding me soothingly until I calmed enough for both of us. When I was finally able to breathe normally I glanced up at the look on Jacob's face.

"What are you thinking?" I asked bluntly, his distant gaze a stranger to me.

After a minute he answered, "I was thinking how best to tell you it's going to be okay, that _I'm _going to be okay because danger's just part of my job…but that's stupid."

The surprise I felt must have showed on my face because he smiled and chuckled, "It would be stupid of me to tell you not to worry because you'll _always _worry; it's what makes you so special to me."

I blushed but before I could open my mouth to counter his argument away from me he put a finger over my lips as he would with a child and whispered, "But I keep trying to tell you Bells: I'll _always _come back for you."

Wiping the last of my tears from my face I giggled a little self consciously before I threw my arms around his neck. Just like that I was at least partially mollified. My worries were nowhere near gone, and I knew that I would always be overly concerned when it came to Jacob, but he had relieved me somewhat. No matter what I just knew that he would always fight his hardest to get back to my side, and in a weird way that made me feel the tiniest bit better. Despite the situations he'd find himself in I wouldn't need to worry about losing him so long as there was breath in his lungs.

Besides, he was much too stubborn to leave me anyway.

Still holding on to his neck my smile brightened as I whispered into his cheek, "I know Jake, and I'll always be here…waiting for you to come back to me…"

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks again guys! I'll definetely try to get this next chapter out to you sooner rather than later. Hope this tides you over until then, but until then...

Stay Beautiful! ;)


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